scribe_of_stars: This is serious post. (Serious Cat.)
Right now, Kim Jong-Un is eating dinner, thinking of new poetically-threatening statements to level at the West, and ignoring his advisors' polite requests for him to turn down the subwoofers blaring "The Final Countdown" on infinite loop all throughout Pyongyang.
scribe_of_stars: For when I need to unleash the FISHSTORM upon my foes. (Boss Bass.)
First the "Fiscal Cliff"...in February, "Sequestration"...and at the end of March, we have a budget deadline that could shut down the government if left unresolved.

All in favor of renaming Congress the Crisis of the Month Club?
scribe_of_stars: This Is Incredibly Silly. (Xemnas Goes to Disneyland.)
"Are you tired of paying inflated prices thanks to markups from sellers seeking profit? At Mid-Atlantic Wholesalers, we take pride in cutting out the middleman. In fact, we don't just cut the middleman. We gut the middleman! That's right, we eviscerate that son of a bitch and SPLATTER HIS GUTS ALL OVER THE SALES FLOOR! That's how much WE'RE committed to SAVINGS! MID-ATLANTIC WHOLESALERS: BECAUSE WE'VE GOT MIDDLEMEN HANGING ON MEAT HOOKS IN THE BASEMENT--"

(Technical Difficulties--Please Stand By)
scribe_of_stars: This Is Incredibly Silly. (Xemnas Goes to Disneyland.)
Happenstance goblins activate your FACE when the Bolivian Whalesnake unlimitedizes your brains into oblivion. Livestock cannon implosions rock the rockers in rocking chairs till the tills ring up your cherry tree, I cannot tell a lie, let sleeping dogs lie, liar, liar, pants on WATER YOU DOING OH SHIT IT'S AN OCEAN PUN OCEAN'S ELEVEN PUNS that's too many puns TIME TO DO SOME PUN WEEDING. I am the humor gardener, FUNNY LANDSCAPING FOR ALL until the sun sets and the moon sets and the stars set and the set piece sets movie set lights camera ACKNOWLEDGEMENT OF EXISTENCE'S HORRORSCAPE oh God, I am never eating that many chocolate-covered espresso beans at once ever again QUALCOMM PANTY RAID NARCISSISTS!









PIZZA SQUID
scribe_of_stars: Oh dear God, why would you DO that?! (Tails WUT.)
One of my toes has become something out of a horror movie, and it's about as painful as it looks. I suspect that I have developed an ingrown toenail. I'll head to the doctor's to have it examined tomorrow.

This is the kind of luck I always get on Valentine's Day. Hope you're having a better one.
scribe_of_stars: For Ravens posts.  By the arm of Unitas, we shall prevail! (ED REEEEEEEED!!)
In honor of the Super Bowl victory, I present to you a 2,000-point, all-Ravenwing Dark Angels list. The Ravenwing is a fast, hard-hitting company of the Dark Angels Space Marines, composed of Space Marines riding Bikes or Attack Bikes, or else piloting Land Speeders or atmospheric fighters.

--------------------------

EDGAR ALLAN POW

HQ

Sammael, Grand Master of the Ravenwing, on Corvex: 200 points

Sammael's Ravenwing Command Squad--Company Champion with Blade of Caliban and Plasma Talon; Standard Bearer with Standard of Devastation, Corvus Hammer, and Ravenwing Grenade Launcher; and Apothecary with Corvus Hammer and Plasma Talon: 220 points

Troops

6 Ravenwing Bikers with Plasma Gun, Flamer, and Sergeant's Lightning Claw and Melta Bombs; a Multi-Melta Attack Bike; and a Land Speeder Typhoon: 331 points [Combat Squads.]

6 Ravenwing Bikers with Plasma Gun, Flamer, and Sergeant's Melta Bombs; a Multi-Melta Attack Bike; and a Land Speeder Typhoon: 316 points [Combat Squads.]

6 Ravenwing Bikers with Plasma Gun, Flamer, and Sergeant's Melta Bombs; a Multi-Melta Attack Bike; and a Land Speeder Typhoon: 316 points [Combat Squads.]

Fast Attack

6 Ravenwing Black Knights with Corvus Hammers, 4 Plasma Talons, 2 Ravenwing Grenade Launchers, and Huntmaster's Melta Bombs: 257 points

Nephilim Jetfighter with Twin-Linked Lascannons: 180 points [Flyer Reserve.]

Nephilim Jetfighter with Twin-Linked Lascannons: 180 points [Flyer Reserve.]

TOTAL: 2,000 POINTS

---------------------------

My strategy, condensed to leave out advanced details:

Every unit but the three Land Speeders (and the Jetfighters in reserve, obviously) lines up at the edge of my deployment zone, uses the Scout move, and then bum-rushes my opponent's forces in an effort to catch them wrong-footed. The Land Speeders Typhoon are equipped with long-ranged missile launchers, so they hang back, try to stay out of line-of-sight of the enemy's larger weapons, and shower light vehicles and hordes alike with PREPOSTEROUS AMOUNTS OF MISSILES. When the Jetfighters arrive, they will hunt for enemy Flyers before turning their attention upon ground targets.

I like making lists waaaaaay too much.

Random.

Feb. 11th, 2013 06:54 pm
scribe_of_stars: This Is Incredibly Silly. (Xemnas Goes to Disneyland.)
If Judge Dredd slips and fractures his forearm, has he broken the law?
scribe_of_stars: Sociopathic evil...for science! (GLaDOS.)
I will never go on that site. Call me paranoid, but I have a feeling that it came into being when someone in the government asked "Why make up a list of undesirables when we can trick the undesirables into making one themselves?"
scribe_of_stars: For posts permeated with incredulity.  Or something. (Edgeworth WHAAAAT?!)
Dorner shouldn't be killing people to make his point or get vengeance or whatever.

The LAPD shouldn't be shooting innocent civilians in an effort to kill Dorner, to say nothing of the other crazy junk they do that made Dorner so angry in the first place.

In other words, everyone is breaking the law here.

...

...STOP BREAKING THE LAW, ASSHOLES!
scribe_of_stars: For Ravens posts.  By the arm of Unitas, we shall prevail! (ED REEEEEEEED!!)
...we are ascendant.

That one was for you, Ray.
scribe_of_stars: For Ravens posts.  By the arm of Unitas, we shall prevail! (ED REEEEEEEED!!)
And now, a dramatic interpretation of what I think tonight's Super Bowl will be like.

No, I don't know which side is the Ravens and which is the 49ers. I won't jinx anything by calling it either way.
scribe_of_stars: LEAGUE COMMAND: "Fantasy Football" Redefined. (The nefarious Doctor Football!)
Ray Lewis's antler-related affliction is not the result of a fey bargain, as I had feared. It just so happened that the deer antler supplement he took was made on a day when a ley line breach erupted in the vicinity of the factory. Very nice of the Conclave of Mages' representative, Velroth the Only-Mildly-Eccentric, to come down from Seattle and diagnose the problem. Velroth assures us that Ray will be antler-free and ready to go by Sunday.
scribe_of_stars: LEAGUE COMMAND: "Fantasy Football" Redefined. (The nefarious Doctor Football!)
An LC New Orleans Special Operations Squad has succeeded in tranquilizing and restraining Ray Lewis, giant deer antlers and all. Upon Lewis's awakening, League Command representatives from Canton began questioning him regarding the use of possibly-illegal substances to speed his recovery. So far, Lewis has responded only by insisting that he is "the King of the Forest" and demanding his release so that he may go to the nearest wooded area and "rejoin his people." He has called his accusers "enemies of the court," whatever that means. I have a hunch, though, and at my request, my contact in the Conclave of Mages is en route to examine Ray and determine the nature and extent of his ailment.

As a child, my mother used to tell me fanciful stories. My favorite was one in which a mysterious fey creature offers a man his greatest desire, but then twists that wish fulfillment into his victim's worst nightmare for his amusement. This mess has all the hallmarks of just such a scenario. Why do people wonder why I have such an intense dislike of magic when both it and the Folk who wield it so consummately are this temperamental?
scribe_of_stars: LEAGUE COMMAND: "Fantasy Football" Redefined. (The nefarious Doctor Football!)
Emerging reports have it that Ray Lewis ingested a large quantity of "deer velvet" in an effort to recover from his triceps injury faster than normal. Our scientists assure me that the substance has no real effect on the recovery process, but it would seem that an overdose produces deleterious side effects. Lewis has sprouted an enormous set of antlers and is now stalking Bourbon Street, charging anything that appears threatening to him.

More on this story as it develops.
scribe_of_stars: For Ravens posts.  By the arm of Unitas, we shall prevail! (ED REEEEEEEED!!)
LANDRY'S HAT, WE DID IT! WE DID IT!!

ON 6 JANUARY, WE BEAT THE COLTS AND EARNED ABSOLUTION BEFORE UNITAS!!

ON 12 JANUARY, WE BEAT THE BRONCOS AND EARNED VINDICATION AGAINST PEYTON MANNING!!

TODAY, WE BEAT THE PATRIOTS--IN FOXBOROUGH--AND EARNED REDEMPTION FOR THE ERRORS OF LAST YEAR!! AND NOW WE'RE GOING TO THE BIGGEST GAME OF ALL!!!

SUPER BOOOOOOOOOOOWL!!!
scribe_of_stars: For Ravens posts.  By the arm of Unitas, we shall prevail! (ED REEEEEEEED!!)
I don't want to spend three and a half hours with my heart up in my sinus cavity, so I'm just going to check on it every so often and hope for the best.

I really do hope we win, though. Three AFC Championships in five years? If we lose this one, we'll be like the Eagles...except that we've won a Super Bowl, but still.
scribe_of_stars: For Ravens posts.  By the arm of Unitas, we shall prevail! (ED REEEEEEEED!!)
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA


AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA


AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

Absolution.

Jan. 7th, 2013 01:34 am
scribe_of_stars: For Ravens posts.  By the arm of Unitas, we shall prevail! (ED REEEEEEEED!!)
Baltimore has redeemed itself before Unitas at long last. In response to our removal of Indianapolis from the playoffs, the Unitan Council of High Priests has declared the Grudge against our former team and its city officially over. No longer must we Baltimoreans refer to that team by such epithets as "the Betrayers" and "the Mayflower Compact" if we wish to remain pure in the Golden Arm's sight. We may now call that team by its name--the Colts--if we so choose.

I have mixed feelings. After so many years of indoctrination in bitterness and hatred toward the Colts, I don't think I can set aside the Grudge easily. Nevertheless, in a League that seems more and more fractured by the minute, I take this development as a beacon of hope. If even Ravens fans and Colts fans can unite, perhaps we can forge a brighter future for the League after all.

Next week, we play Peyton Manning. In Denver. I don't expect to win, but hopefully, we can make a game of it.
scribe_of_stars: This Is Incredibly Silly. (Xemnas Goes to Disneyland.)
Imagine if the girls with the supernatural caretaker were of high-school age. Then we could have horror clich├ęs mixed with teen angst.

"MOOOM! Stop killing everybody! You're embarrassing me!! RRRRRRR!! This is the worst day ever!"
scribe_of_stars: For happiness and/or amusement. (Tenny and Scrabble.)
TIME UP!

THIS YEAR'S WINNER IS: PSY!

2ND: BARACK OBAMA

3RD: ELI MANNING

4TH: AUNG SAN SUU KYI

Thanks for playing Super Smash Years. The next round ends at midnight of the next New Year's Day.

Welcome to 2013! Happy New Year!

(Honorable Mention: The Clemson Tigers, who just pulled off a titanic upset of LSU. What a game!)
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