TMI, anyone?

One of my toes has become something out of a horror movie, and it's about as painful as it looks. I suspect that I have developed an ingrown toenail. I'll head to the doctor's to have it examined tomorrow.

This is the kind of luck I always get on Valentine's Day. Hope you're having a better one.

TOO MUCH V-DAY SUGARSUGARSUGARSUGARSUUUUUUUU

Happenstance goblins activate your FACE when the Bolivian Whalesnake unlimitedizes your brains into oblivion. Livestock cannon implosions rock the rockers in rocking chairs till the tills ring up your cherry tree, I cannot tell a lie, let sleeping dogs lie, liar, liar, pants on WATER YOU DOING OH SHIT IT'S AN OCEAN PUN OCEAN'S ELEVEN PUNS that's too many puns TIME TO DO SOME PUN WEEDING. I am the humor gardener, FUNNY LANDSCAPING FOR ALL until the sun sets and the moon sets and the stars set and the set piece sets movie set lights camera ACKNOWLEDGEMENT OF EXISTENCE'S HORRORSCAPE oh God, I am never eating that many chocolate-covered espresso beans at once ever again QUALCOMM PANTY RAID NARCISSISTS!









PIZZA SQUID

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(Technical Difficulties--Please Stand By)